Day 10
Every person on earth has lived through uncomfortable experiences. This experience for me has been a journey of Self. For me I have realised that being uncomfortable is unavoidable.
The interaction with uncomfortable has been a very difficult one for me as throughout my years of growing I have always struggled with feeling comfortable in my own skin, this resulted in major anxiety which continues to define me today.
When I was given the task to do a 10 day intervention, I thought to myself Wow Vega Really?? Aint Nobody got time for this.
However my 10 day journey of Body (un)comfortable has been an interesting one for me, and more importantly it has given me so much, I got to take away from this task so much of myself and I got to give so much of myself in the process.
Dressing as domestic worker for the past 10 days I felt completely separate from my body and from myself, I felt small as if I didn't belong.
Very early in my journey the idea of self began to form. From the beginning I was told all kinds of things and these details, ideas and opinions of others stuck with me which went towards building myself. My sense of self. However this intervention has come to an end and I'm a bit sad that I have to return to MySELF.
Note To Self: Figure out how to live more and more for your essence by getting under your own skin.
Remolding your life:
Tuesday 2 June 2015
Monday 1 June 2015
A Day in the life of Me.
Day 9
There Was School Today. It was miserable. The Vega Students kept asking me all sorts of questions. My biggest fear is someone asking me to clean something gross. If I had a million Rand to spend in a single day, Today I would buy my degree.
Argggg... I still cant believe the security guards gave me such a hard time today. Seriously???
The best part of my day was Buying a mcflurry in McDonald's and the person serving me was so shocked. The best part had to be her facial person.
But The cherry on top of my day today 22:00- Lights Out.
x
There Was School Today. It was miserable. The Vega Students kept asking me all sorts of questions. My biggest fear is someone asking me to clean something gross. If I had a million Rand to spend in a single day, Today I would buy my degree.
Argggg... I still cant believe the security guards gave me such a hard time today. Seriously???
The best part of my day was Buying a mcflurry in McDonald's and the person serving me was so shocked. The best part had to be her facial person.
But The cherry on top of my day today 22:00- Lights Out.
x
We want Better Cleaning products
Day 8
After a long day of catching up on lectures and Assignments, I got offered jobs.
My Lecture offered me a Job today, and I forgot to mention to her that I would only work for her if her couch is comfortable and she has DSTV, oh and no pets, I'm allergic, and of course better food.
Finally The people from the restaurant which is just down the road asked me where I work, I explained to them that it was part of a 10 day intervention I was doing on the body uncomfortable. They asked me how this makes me feel uncomfortable and I replied that when deciding to be a domestic worker it mentally made me uncomfortable, but little did I know that on my first day I would not only be mentally uncomfortable but both physically too.
Appearance Say's a thousand words, I care so much about the way I look and what people say that I would rather not leave the house on a bad hair day. During this intervention I have realised that even though people stare and talk, life goes on, they leave and carry on with their day and so should I. people don't really actually care, but it has always been a mental thing for me.
x
After a long day of catching up on lectures and Assignments, I got offered jobs.
My Lecture offered me a Job today, and I forgot to mention to her that I would only work for her if her couch is comfortable and she has DSTV, oh and no pets, I'm allergic, and of course better food.
Finally The people from the restaurant which is just down the road asked me where I work, I explained to them that it was part of a 10 day intervention I was doing on the body uncomfortable. They asked me how this makes me feel uncomfortable and I replied that when deciding to be a domestic worker it mentally made me uncomfortable, but little did I know that on my first day I would not only be mentally uncomfortable but both physically too.
Appearance Say's a thousand words, I care so much about the way I look and what people say that I would rather not leave the house on a bad hair day. During this intervention I have realised that even though people stare and talk, life goes on, they leave and carry on with their day and so should I. people don't really actually care, but it has always been a mental thing for me.
x
Mind, Body and Soul
Day 7
I don't have to stress about what to wear anymore. That's a relief. I have a hectic day ahead of me, and getting dressed doesn't take me As long as it used to anymore.
All Dressed.
I'm getting comfortable with the way I look, the looks and stares don't really bother me anymore. However it does bother me that people belittle domestic workers without even knowing them, the way people look at me bothers me, its as if I don't exist, one person today at Sandton asked me where the bathroom was and because Sandton city is my playground I smiled politely and pointed her in the wrong direction. I shouldn't have done that but at the time is what fun.
Lunch with the girls. they are not impressed. I'm feeling a bit awkward now because my friends are unhappy that I still need to dress this way. my friends are single. and they are yelling at me for embarrassing them in public and chasing all the good looking men away, simply because of how I look.
Undressed.
Got Home. took of my domestic worker clothes and thought about the way my friends judged the outfit and how I supposedly ruined lunch and how the next Lunch is on me.
Nothing Personal.
X
I don't have to stress about what to wear anymore. That's a relief. I have a hectic day ahead of me, and getting dressed doesn't take me As long as it used to anymore.
All Dressed.
I'm getting comfortable with the way I look, the looks and stares don't really bother me anymore. However it does bother me that people belittle domestic workers without even knowing them, the way people look at me bothers me, its as if I don't exist, one person today at Sandton asked me where the bathroom was and because Sandton city is my playground I smiled politely and pointed her in the wrong direction. I shouldn't have done that but at the time is what fun.
Lunch with the girls. they are not impressed. I'm feeling a bit awkward now because my friends are unhappy that I still need to dress this way. my friends are single. and they are yelling at me for embarrassing them in public and chasing all the good looking men away, simply because of how I look.
Undressed.
Got Home. took of my domestic worker clothes and thought about the way my friends judged the outfit and how I supposedly ruined lunch and how the next Lunch is on me.
Nothing Personal.
X
Saturday 30 May 2015
Tea Break
Day 5
There are no Domestic workers in the Gym and I'm suddenly feeling uncomfortable with it.
As I walked into the gym midday for a quick spinning class I realised that everybody was starring at me.
This suddenly made me feel very uncomfortable.
What is the help doing in the Gym They ask themselves?
I quickly run to the change rooms and get into my Gym gear.
Within a few minutes of gentle warm up stretches, I saw the ladies that were in the change rooms with me staring directly at me. I tried to focus on the stretching, but i found all I could think about was, what is going through their heads? do they think I should be cleaning the change rooms? do they think I work here? do they think Virgin active is giving employee perks to the cleaning staff?
I was completely unable to focus on the class, instead feeling so aware of the woman starring at me.
x
There are no Domestic workers in the Gym and I'm suddenly feeling uncomfortable with it.
As I walked into the gym midday for a quick spinning class I realised that everybody was starring at me.
This suddenly made me feel very uncomfortable.
What is the help doing in the Gym They ask themselves?
I quickly run to the change rooms and get into my Gym gear.
Within a few minutes of gentle warm up stretches, I saw the ladies that were in the change rooms with me staring directly at me. I tried to focus on the stretching, but i found all I could think about was, what is going through their heads? do they think I should be cleaning the change rooms? do they think I work here? do they think Virgin active is giving employee perks to the cleaning staff?
I was completely unable to focus on the class, instead feeling so aware of the woman starring at me.
x
Wednesday 27 May 2015
Woman of the House.
Day 4
So Today I was feeling a bit down and decided to do my hair and make up and wear a pair of my favourite sunglasses with my domestic worker outfit.
The reactions I got today where mixed but most people asked me if I was sleeping with my Madam's husband or if I got a wage increase. I laughed it off and carried on with my day.
I have heard many stories of domestic workers getting it down with the man of the house. Some do it because they are too scared to lose their jobs when the man makes advances and others do it simply to show the lady of the house that they too are capable.
If I was going to be running another woman's household then how can my employer not expect me to take over and be the woman of the house.
After 4 days in the Job, today I am feeling more confident. and i am more positive that ever that just like any other job I can climb the appropriate ladder and get myself a promotion.
This is after all the new South Africa.
So Today I was feeling a bit down and decided to do my hair and make up and wear a pair of my favourite sunglasses with my domestic worker outfit.
The reactions I got today where mixed but most people asked me if I was sleeping with my Madam's husband or if I got a wage increase. I laughed it off and carried on with my day.
I have heard many stories of domestic workers getting it down with the man of the house. Some do it because they are too scared to lose their jobs when the man makes advances and others do it simply to show the lady of the house that they too are capable.
If I was going to be running another woman's household then how can my employer not expect me to take over and be the woman of the house.
After 4 days in the Job, today I am feeling more confident. and i am more positive that ever that just like any other job I can climb the appropriate ladder and get myself a promotion.
This is after all the new South Africa.
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